TNS Cakeorama


So today, is my office’s bake sale and baking competition. Since I’m only a week old (today) to the company. I figured I should participate in the competition. I’m not an experienced baker by any means, but when you watch enough food network you can at least pretend you are. Though I probably cheated.

So on my way home from work last night I started pondering how the heck i was going to bake a cake, and make it look like the way I want it to look. I figured the best design for the cake was to replicate the company’s logo in cake form. Chose the logo, because I figured it was the best way to get recognized by everyone here. “Hey the new guy baked a gigantic pink logo. Cool!”

So the logo is a pink 3d cube in 2d. (i.e., draw yourself a 3d cube, on paper and bam you have our logo… oh and color in pink.) But I wanted to make a 3d cake of a 2d cube. Which really turns out to be a 3d rhombus. So i wanted to make a pink rhombus really. But how the heck do you make the parallelogram shaped sides? So while on the subway i was drawing the layout and the blueprints for my cake construction. Was even calculating angles and depth measurements so it would be a perfect rhombus. So eventually I get to the grocery store in my neighborhood. I’m standing in the baking aisle, staring at the cartons of cake mixes and ingredients, and I’m thinking to myself … “Shyt”.

Do I even have time to bake a cake. not only one but several to make it layered? Then I have to saw it into a rhombus shape. Ice it. Letter it. Hmmmmm what if it doesn’t work. So i Phone a friend, Eff. Eff tells me, “your idea sucks it ain’t going to work. The moment you try to stack the layers you wouldn’t be skilled enough to make it stick. And it would fall apart. “

So i tell her “screw you, i can do it. Just tell me what type of cake mix to buy, in order to shape it “. She says, “It’s not going to work the way it does on the food network, but if you were going to attempt it you’d have to buy a pound cake mix, not like an angle food mix.”

Then BAM right there it HITS ME!. “Pound Cake?” “Yes pound cake, its a more denser cake and will stay together better than any other type”. So I said screw the cake mixes, I went over to the baked goods, and grabbed me some bricks of already made pound cakes. LOL

I would probably get disqualified if anyone ever found out that I didnt even bake these, but who’s going to know?

I bought the icing and all the other add-ons and went home. Took out my bricks, took a serrated knife (at this point Eff is totally on board with the idea and she is instructing me on the construction) and started forming the bricks to perfect rectangles. Like a mason, I go to work laying out my cake. An Hour later, Bam we have a company Logo.

I’m pretty sure it taste good too. The scraps were devoured immediately after they became scraps.


Now, I am work. And looking at how pumped everyone is here about the bake off. And how much time and effort they all put into it, I’m a little worried. Looks like Im going to go home with an honorably mentioned. But at least everyone will know the new guy with the big pink cake.

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