All posts by Zepo Gnod

Bloggings, Dreams

Dreaming of Highschool and Theater productions

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So last night I had an odd dream.

Let’s see if I can remember the detail.

So the main part of the dream that I remember the most was where I decided to cross dress as an old lady; but that came later. The first part of the dream was me in some sort of post apocalyptic survival scenario.

I remember in the dream there being this abandoned factory like area. I was part of a group of survivors that was just hiding out. I’m not sure if it was aliens or zombies that had caused this post apocalyptic scenario, but there we were. I can’t remember if my wife was there, but I was running around trying to protect everyone. We were being attacked by survivor bandits. You’ve seen their kind in the movies, they steal and beat up other survivors even though the real enemy oppresses all. I had grabbed two folding knifes that were just lying there on the floor. I guess I decided that I’d be able to duel wield folding knives in some Dungeons and Dragons Rogueish attempt to protect my people. In chasing some bandits and cutting one of them I found myself guiding some survivors into a freight elevator.

We closed the doors and took the freight elevator up. I guess the idea of taking an elevator reminded me of my high school’s elevators. (I went to a big High School, we had about 4 to 6 elevators in a 10 floor building.)

When I got out of the elevator I had forgotten about the survivor bandits and lost the folding knives. I was late to class and we had a group presentation. I don’t recall knowing anyone in my group, but we had a list of dialogue that we were going to read and act out in front of the class in some sort of English literature skit.

My group members handed me my dialogue and told me to hurry up and get ready. Everyone went into the classroom while I was left in the hallway. In the hallway (which was very narrow) were several garment racks with all sorts of costumes. When I peered through the classroom doorway I saw several students sitting in the front in full Elizabethan period costumes. Thinking to myself, that I was way behind and had to get on a costume immediately I scoured the racks as fast as I could. Unfortunately, everything I found was like 10 sizes too small. As if everything was made for skinny female actors. Thinking off the cuff and knowing nothing I would find on the racks would fit me right, I decided to go with a haggered old wench layered in several undersized blouses and dresses that I essentially wore as capes. I layered just enough clothing to make the outfit look exactly how you’d imagine a haggered old wench in the Elizabethan era would look. Somehow this choice of costume was perfect for my group presentation. (Now that I think about it, I think I was going for that Junk goblin look, you know the one in the Labyrinth.)

Finally, with my costume complete, I walked to the classroom doorway waiting for my group to be called. But as I stood there waiting for my turn to get on stage I heard the teacher say allowed “OK class that’s all the time we have today for presentations. Sorry to everyone who could not do their skits. This won’t be counted against you as your individual research papers were really the main part of this exercise. Please make sure your papers are all on my desk before you leave.

And my dream thus ended with that parting throught “Fuck, I forgot to do my research paper!”

Bloggings

Fear is the mind-killer.

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I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
~ Bene Gesserit Incantation – Dune

Bloggings, Family, Videos

My Interview with my Grandfather, Part 2

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This is part 2 of my interview with my grandfather, Bonifacio Silvano Arzadon Sr. For part 1 Click Here,

In part 1 we briefly talked about my Grandfather’s service in the military during World War 2. Towards the end of the war my grandfather had been placed in a Japanese concentration camp. He experienced several hardships during this time. When he was finally released from the camp he and his comrades were processed by The Department of Social Work. Call it fate, destiny, or just following the path that God laid out for him. After all he had been through with the war, the woman that was to take down his information and process him along with the other prisoners of war turned out to be the love of his life. My grandmother. He says it was “love at first sight”. In part 2 we discuss his courtship and marriage. Along with his career/employment following the war.

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A quote from my cousin RJ:
“You’ve always been there when we needed you…you gave us advice and tried to show us the better path to live our lives…you never showed weakness until the end…

A role model and a hero…

You will forever be missed and always be loved Lolo…!!!”

Bonifacio Silvano Arzadon Sr. – June 5th 1916 – April 3rd 2012.

Bloggings, Family, Videos

My Interview with my Grandfather, Part 1

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In June of 2010 my family on my mother’s side had a family reunion in the Philippines. The reunion was to celebrate my grandfather’s 94th birthday. When my grandfather and I had some down time together I decided to sit down with him and record an interview with him. For the first time ever, I learned things about my grandparents that I never knew. Though the entire session only lasted about an hour and a half, it is something that I will keep and remember forever. I only wish I could have done more.

On April 3rd, 2012 my grandfather passed away. As I write this it is only 9 days since his passing. I miss him terribly as everyone in my family does. My grandfather was a leader, a patriarch, the paterfamilias of his family. Some of my cousins called him the General. Things didn’t happen unless my grandfather made the decision to make them happen.

A quote from my cousin RJ:
“You’ve always been there when we needed you…you gave us advice and tried to show us the better path to live our lives…you never showed weakness until the end…

A role model and a hero…

You will forever be missed and always be loved Lolo…!!!”

Bonifacio Silvano Arzadon Sr. – June 5th 1916 – April 3rd 2012.

(The above video is part 1 of what I believe will be a 3 part video. I will try to get the other parts edited and uploaded soon)

Bloggings, Life, Universe, and Everything, Rantings

One day I was thinking about life….

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My Friend: http://youarenotsosmart.com
read this, its brilliant

Error42: eh but i dont think i equate money to happiness

My Friend: its a blog fool, read the whole article, its about more than that

Error42: yeah yeah im nearing the end

Error42: errr lol wait thats not the end lol

My Friend: lol yeah, i was like uhhh yeah….the article is liek 5 pages

Error42: does this guy have a video cause i cant read all this and work at the same time

My Friend: save it, save the entire thing

Error42: thats why i watch/listen to video

My Friend: im gonna buy the book

Error42: kk linked… thing is… i have a different view about life than most i think

My Friend: no you dont
My Friend: noob
My Friend: 😀

Error42: wow… i really thought.. that my sentance just then was going to spark a very deep conversation about life and my reason for living…. however… your response… kinda killed that with impunity

My Friend: 😀
My Friend: heheheheheheheheh
My Friend: go ahead mr. gopez
My Friend: testify!

Error42: no! i dont wanna anymore.

My Friend: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Error42: lol

My Friend: 🙁

Error42: eh. its an odd thing really. dont know if i can explain myself very well. … it kinda came about while i was thinking about… a book i was writing

My Friend: figure it out whilst i call swapnil

Error42: figuring out this religion for this book
you know the whole… question about “why are we here” and all that
what is our reason for being
like scientists and all the religion haters.. would call bull shit and all that
evolution and all that right
no god etc etc
there is a philospher who said that the reason for being is doing what an animal does by instinct
like… a bird in the wild… is doing what it was created to do
it lives.. it breads.. and it does what it does… and when you look at the circle of life… you can show exactly how what a bird does on a daily basis.. actually.. is an important part of ecology
same thing with worms right… they do what they do .. and because of it… grass and plants can thrive… birds can eat… etc etc
circle of life and all that right
well i was thinking… well what are the nuts and bolts of man
like what is it that man does
and like if you were to sum it up.. one could say… we create.. and we evolve
more than any animal…. mankind .. has been able to create and change our surroundings… writen language, technology… etc… the whole achievements of civilization… (video game ref)
like thats what man does right
so anyways… i was thinking.. well thats what we do.. but why would we do that?
so i … started thinking about.. God right
and this is sorta where my book comes in
like there is a line right.. that God created man in his own image right
so like why would he do that?
so i was thinking.. what if… there is a god right… but.. he’s just a god right
but its not like… he can do everything right.. but he cant do everything
like what if he just wanted to create… another god so that he had someone to talk to
cause god is by himself right
if there is only 1
anyways … the idea is… that god could not create another god… .for some reason.. that was not allowed
so he instead created man
and gave man .. the ability.. to become gods… but could not just give them.. the power outright… he just came up with this idea that as long as we did it on our own… it was legit
so .. .. the reason… mankind… has this … ability to become more and create.. and change ourselves.. is because thats what we are meant to do
we are meant to evolve… to create technology… and one day.. we will become gods
and then God would be like…. “Dang that took longer than I thought,… so… you wanna play chess?”
and then Man will respond “Meh…. nah…….. checkmate”
ok that last part wasnt really part of my thinking.. but i felt the need to throw it in there.

My Friend: when is your book coming out?

Error42: idk… so anyways… one of the problems with the human race is that… we are divided
but… we recently… created a piece of technology… that should.. bring us to the next stage of evolution

My Friend: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_Babel
My Friend: 😀

Error42: the idea is that…. its not just one person that is suppose to become god… its that… we all.. are… that .. all of mankind.. is suppose to work together… but we cant work together
i mean.. you hear it all the time… we are connected you know
like my life will effect yours.. and yours will effect others…so and so forth. And if you sat down and wrote down.. everything you’ve ever done.. you’d be able to see… how your actions… changed the life.. of some dude in California… who changed some girl in Japan… who changed some girl in Russia
etc etc right
The Internet… has the ability to.. connect all of us
for the first time in all of our history… we now have the ability to connect to everyone around the world
its the first step… in becoming…. one race.. the human race
sooooo … my reason for being…. is to … somehow… change… humanity… for the better
everything we do….should be… to help evolve mankind… take mankind to the next step

My Friend: mabye you should sharpen your focus
and improve the lives of people close to you

Error42: however…. the problem is.. mankind is broken… we are too occupied.. with our own lives…. i think the WORST idea ever to come into mankinds mind.. is that Life is about Living and having a good time before you die
because…. if we all just cared… about ourselves… and nothing else…. what would be the point of having so many of us to be alive
if that was our reason for being.. than… there would only be one person.. he’d be immortal and he’d be sitting alone masturbating until the end of time
no i dont think we are suppose to live for ourselves…. we are suppose to live for each other
its weird… one thing that is important.. is that.. this way of thinking…is not suppose to replace religions…. there is a common ground that all religions can coexist
the United Nations.. was actually… in my opinion.. a huge step in the right direction… the problem is… the majority of people in POWER… only care about keeping that power… and getting more power…. wealth… and money… greed.. and all that…. so even though the United Nations is an awesome idea… it is hindered.. by other human motivations
religion.. in itself.. is a great idea…. however.. it is controlled by human motivations… so it becomes tainted
like in politics…. politicians.. using religion.. to gain power… this is the opposite of what religion is suppose to do
if you are to say that there is one god… and that one god created all of us humans… than that means he also created all the other religions…. but why would he do that? he wouldn’t do that so that we would kill each other until one religion survived… he did it because he himself is made up of everything… the religions of the world are suppose to come together
i know it sounds like an impossible thing… but then again.. if you believe in god… than you’re suppose to believe in impossible things existing

My Friend: pax

Error42: pax indeed

My Friend: what are you going to do with all of these thoughts and information?

Error42: dont know… currently the only idea that ive had so far… is to write it down
maybe when i get enough money… i’ll figure a way to get on TED and be like…. “yo peep this bitches….”