“we think we can live away from what we have, but are defined by those very things, it feeds upon us… Sustained by our belief that we are doing something right. We think we are so great in our protest… but we just become the bitter offspring of what we oppose. we become prisoners in our own cages.” JCV JTHM

To become the product of the very things you hate? Is to give into them, yes? It would mean that although you are trying to get away from them, trying to show that you are better than them, you become a product of them. In effect allowing them more control. Allowing them to define what you become and your actions.

How does one find themselves though, if they do not let themselves evolve from their surroundings? To do the opposite of what people expect you to do is to still become a product of those people.

More badly constructed melodramatic prose caused by JCV. But lets keep with it. … It’s fun.

So I am the product of my surroundings. I get this. Its like the thing about twins who grow up separated at birth. They evolve in accordance with their surroundings. Given a nurturing life, one can grow up to be just as nurturing. Given a life of suffering and pain, and one will grow up to be a byproduct of that as well.

So where do I fall in. How can I describe myself and then find ways of connecting my current self to the events or stimulus that I was given throughout my life? Why would I want to do this? Perhaps to explain why I have taken the “actions” that I have taken. Some part of me asks me every day, “How did we get here? Is this where we want to be?”. Of course one can spend hours upon hours trying to figure out how one is where they are. But would it not be better, a more productive use of ones time, to spend that time figuring out what to do next now that you are where you are. … hmmm… but then that doesn’t solve it does it. It would just correct the current problem, the current situation. It would not at all stop if from every reoccurring. So based on this, it would be important to first understand how one got somewhere before they figured out where they are going next.

So where am i?